OpenYourEyes.

WAKE UP, WAKE UP, WAKE UP.


I've spent a lot of time lately truly finding myself & who I really am. I'm not completely back to my roots. But im surely getting there. I might be changing my diet from vegetarian to raw vegan. I'm doing my research. Jude has been so wonderful. And im so very in love, and it feels good. He's been such a light in my life. I'm not exactly where I want to be in my life just yet.  I don't know what else to say right now.


I'm shaken, awaken my soul.

Who are you?

Lately I have been really trying to step up and get things done. Such as getting the days off for my ged, trying to figure out this whole college thing, saving for a car, and just other random little things. It's all so overwhelming really. But I told my boss about my GED and she said she'd have no problem working around it! So that's a start. Jude and I have been having a lot of serious conversations about moving out together and a bunch of other things. I have a lot to get done. I don't even know where to start, and seeing as how my mom has no maternal bone in her body, Jude said that we can sit down and talk to his mom about it and he said she'd help me figure stuff out. She's so nice. And he's the best person ever. He truly gets me.

Last night Jude and started to re watch Dr.Who so we can watch the old movies too. It was awesome. Ummm, I get paid today and all im buying is our Circa tickets and some face wash. I've been pretty good financially.


I'm gonna go check the mail, byeee.

College?

This college stuff is so hard to figure out... Do I start online so I don't have to quit my job right away? Do I even know what I for sure want to do? I want to do a lot of things... This is so stressful. I have so much to do. I still need to get my ged but it's hard to go do that while im working full time, And I haven't had my job for very long. I don't feel comfortable asking for 3 days off in a row right now. I want to move out with Jude.. And we found out he passed his test today. So I have to start moving on with my education and such asap. There is just so much I don't understand. I'm so fucking confused...I want to throw up. Bye.

Greenhouselove.

Starflower.

I don't know what to say so ill just jump into whatever...

Jude took his Nclex Wednesday, and he thinks he did well. We find out for sure today. :)
Yesterday we woke up and went to Tates. I got a neat shirt, a lenore comic, and a ramune. It was a good trip. He took me home after, and I went to Chipotle and got my hair cut. It was a pretty accomplishing day. I was super tired after and I fell asleep kind of early. Oh! And my friend Ceena had her baby! She has a thing for irish names, so she named him James Patrick. He's adorable. I don't think I have anything else to talk about...Bye!

 Mirrorsandfevers.

 Neat ring.

 Jame Patrick Newton. <3

 Cupcakes.

 Ramune. Nom.

 Cute little dead girl.

Star flower.

ViolentWaves.

Today is my day off and so far it's been pretty lame. Jude can't hangout because he has to take his Nclex tomorrow. So I spent the day doing some online shopping! Which is okay because I saved $500 out of my paycheck. So I ordered Jude and I the new Circa cd Violent Waves. I figured id give him his as a congratulations gift when he passes his test. The cd came with a digital download of if too, I've been listening to it all day and it's sooo good. I can't wait to go see them next month! I also bought some stuff from Vicky's secret and some cool sunglasses Christine found for me on ebay. I walked to Chipotle and got a salad. It was yummy.

Halloween is coming! I love dressing up and carving pumpkins and baking the seeds. Guh. This year I think I might be a sailor or a pirate so I can wear my boots. Who knows, not me. Hmm that's all for now! Byee.

"When you realize my name, and suddenly your mood begins to change." <3

Faceplant.

Yesterday I stayed over at Jude's and we watched The Last Stand, it was a good movie. We had  a fun night. This  morning we woke up and hung out for a while and he took me home. Then I went with Christine to get her tragus's pierced. She said it hurt pretty bad. But they look awesome. She passed out and fell on her face while we were on our way out and I couldn't get her up off the floor, and her head was in a puddle of her soda, I thought she was having a sizer.I started screaming (which they later made fun of me for). So the guy who pierced her got her off the floor and she woke up and was acting loopy for a mintue. She's okay now. But it was scarey watching her eat shit like that. We just laughed about it.

I guess were under tropical storm watch. Maybe a tornado will take out a piece of Target so I won't have to work in the morning. -_-

My bestie.

Welcome to the jungle.

The car thing was a bust. I'm sticking to my original plan of saving until my birthday for a car. It's not that far away. 

Turns out that Yoshi was just offering me some extra hours. So I went in to target at 5:00 and left after 12:00 a.m... It sucked. I had to clean the back to school section. I have sooo many paper cuts. When I first got to my section, this husky target employee came up to me and said "I've never seen you before!" as he went to shake my hand. I shook his back to be polite and said "I usually work at Starbucks..." there was and awkward pause as he took too long to let go of my hand and he said "Welcome to the jungle little lady!" and he walked away. That two minute was so uncomfortable in too many fucking ways. And this other employee kept calling me tinkerbell because my keys have a bell on them. Retard. whatever.

Today I woke up and made some coffee. I saw that it was nice outside so I decided id tan. After that I came inside and showered while I waited for my mom to get home. She took me to get a new shower curtain and she bought me a cardigan I really wanted from target. We came home and it started to rain, so we went to the gym for a while.. I have to admit im glad I went. I've been going about every other day. I feel so much more energized and better about myself when I go. It's almost inspirational...? Meh, that sounds weird.

Today Devin hooked my broken laptop up to a monitor and I found a bunch of old pictures I thought I had lost forever. It made me miss some old friends that I don't talk to anymore, and have a bunch of other weird feelings but who cares, enjoy...

 Aiden. (Cenna's having her new baby in four days!)

 Jackie.

 My 16th birthday at disney with Sam.

The day I got Kenny, even though I gave him to Sam two years later.

 Alica.

Inventory day with Jackie.

 The previous 3 sceneamigos.

 The day we dressed up Matty like a scene chick. ( Hailey Hannibal).

 Little brother.

Sunfest.

 Fattys.

 Toes.

Chrissy.

 Downys at fright nights.

Chad&Leeann.

 Warped tour 09?

Cute puppy in New York,

 Moon fest.

 Memories old as dirt. I like to believe that a friendship so close 

will come back together someday.

 Hailey Hannibal && Mike Ballistic.

I was such a little monster.

 Naomi's window. "I don't use doors..." haha.

 Matty's mom's undies.

 What we use to do at our awesome sleepovers.

 Moonfest 10'?

 we fly like paper. (Lanasia)

 Scene booth.

 I eat cunts.

Oldschool.

Might.

So I finally might be getting a car tomorrow, which is kinda weird seeing as I don't even have my lisence yet! But Whatever ill have a car! Hope this works outtt. Later.

Greencay.

Lastnight I hungout with Jude & when we woke up today he asked me if I wanted to go to Greencay with him. It was nice, it was sooo hot though. We saw a lot of neat stuff. All the plants got bigger. I was looking for alligators the whole tim but only saw their tracks. Oh well. I got home and Charley and the chocolate factory was on. I hate it when he doesn't find anything in the first two bars he opens, ah. Yoshi called me and asked me if I wanted to work in another department of Target on Monday for some extra hours. I said yes, and then she said she has something else she needs to ask me but she'll talk to me about it tomorrow. I can't take the anticipation. Hopefully im not in trouble and I didn't fuck anything up. Bah. But I don't think she'd be offering me more hours if I did something wrong I guess... I'm still anxious and nervous though.

Circa survive is coming soon and so are Taking back sunday. I'm excited!

My mom told me yesterday that she is for sure not co signing a car for me and she's not changing her mind. Whatever. I don't know what im gonna do now. Probably just gonna have a shitty first car like everyone else. Hah.

Bye.

Merp.

This morning I woke up because my phone kept buzzing, at first I thought it was Jude's so I ignored it for the first 5 hours it was going off. When I noticed Jude had already woken up and went downstairs I saw that it was my phone. My boss started calling me at 6:00 a.m. to ask me to come in on my day off. I really didn't want too. But because the hours are being cut for two weeks i'd be stupid not to take the extra hours. I called back too late for the opening shift, so they had me come in around 3 to close. So because it was only 11 Jude and I eneded up passing back out for a little while. He took me home and I cleaned a little and went to work. I had a terrible customer and the rest of my day went to shit after that. I'm not gonna get into detail, it's not worth getting worked up again.

Have you ever wished you were somebody else?

I wish I like sweets so I could do this.



Holey.

Hm, sooo...I haven't had much sleep you see? I can't force myself to go to bed like a normal fucking person so ive been maxing my sleep at about 3 hours lately. And it sucks so bad. I got up for work today and wanted to die. Then when I got there the expresso machine borke and our coffee broke because the water thing in the back was broken. There were so many angry people. All we could make was tea and frappuccinos. Then my boss tells me that all of us are only going to have about 20 hours for the next two weeks because they cut our hours from 160 to 110. But it'll go back to full time after that. Whatevs. I could use a break, even though I want to save a lot. I can't wait to have two jobs. (Am I psycho or what)?

Later im going over to Judey's house, and we're gonna have an awesome time because we're so fucking awesome, we're most prob gonna sit around and just soak up each others awesomeness. Hah.
This X anime is pretty great. A lot better then I was expecting. I was a bit bored at first.

I  have nothing else to talk about really...


Guess im gonna go crawl in a hole and die now, buhbye.

Homicidal X.

Hello darkness my old friend.

So last night I didn't pass out until about 4. Urg. And I woke up today and wanted to tan before work but I got distracted by the computer. I can't wait until im done saving for a car. There are a few things i'd like to um purchase. D: Movies, shirts, plushies, stuff to make other stuff, new pj's, this chair at target that's on sale..yeah I have a list. Oh welly. I have to behave myself.

I can't wait to see Paranorman! Also Frankenweenie comes out October 5th and i'd like to see that. It looks sooo cuteee! :D

I've been thinking about going to the gym all the time. And my excuse for not going is that I have no one to go with & I hate going alone. But I think im going to try to just suck it up.

I really love the Johnny The Homicidal Maniac books. I want to find more like that. Jude always watches anime when im over there, but he watches it when im not there too. So lastnight I started to re watch X on netflix so I can catch up hopefully. It's a short on anyways. The majorty of movies I want to watch on Netflicks aren't available for instaque. Bullshit. Blah.

Well im gonna go get ready for workkk, bye.

Beardless.

This weekend was pretty good. Yesturday I stayed over at Jude's. It was nice. When we woke up we decided to shave Jude's face because he was way beyond his usual scruffyness. After that we walked in his room and Misa took a nasty shit on his floor, it smelt sooo bad!Then while I was making coffee Jude's mom asked us when we're gonna get married and have babies. Oh god. And then he told me the coffee smelt like Misa's shit.Haha. He doesn't like coffee. So weird.I keep waking up with headaches. I don't know what's wrong with me really. Oh well. I'll just keep having advil and coffee for breakfast. I'm home now and im watching supernanny while my pizza is cooking, and it's almost done. I'm going to gooo. Bye.

 Freshlybeardless, and beautiful as always.<3

 Beals.

 Been curling my hair a lot.

My spikey shoes. LOVE.